Lost in the Dark
by VampireExotica
Summary: Severus Snape fears the dark and what it is capable of so what do you do when the light that has kept you safe for so long tells you its time to extinguish it?


**Disclaimer:** This story is based off characters and locations owned and created by J. K. Rowling, Scholastic Books, Bloomsbury Publishing, Warner Brothers or any other company that own copyright to the Harry Potter series. The story may include characters and locations owned/created by other parties including but not limited to Joss Whedon, George Lucas, Lucasfilm, Fox, Paramount, Random House, Penguin Putnam, Inc., Ballantine Books, and a variety of other people. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Summery:** Severus Snape fears the dark and what it is capable of so what do you do when the light that has kept you safe for so long tells you its time to extinguish it?

**A/N:** This piece is written for the author of the month contest on: thaelixir.proboards49 know it's not a masterpiece or fantastic by any means but I'm head of Slytherin and feel it's my duty to contribute something to gain our house points. So here goes my angsty fic in Severus POV. I haven't got a beta so if you feel up to the job them please review and let me know. I also hate writing full POV's so forgive me but it's in the Rules (which are at the bottom of the fic). Anyway enough dawdling...

**Lost in the Dark**

The light goes out just as it has before and I find myself stumbling in the dark. My hands reach out, searching for something I know I'll never find and I fall to the floor in despair. He left me years ago, when I was only a boy and my magic new to me. I thought that magic could solve anything just like it did in the books and the films on TV. How wrong I was...When they told me I could not help him that I was not allowed, I grew angry. Angry with them for forbidding me to save my father, angry with him for being so weak and surrendering to the cancer.

As my anger grew I found myself tired of stumbling around in the darkness and turned to a new light on the horizon. So much different to the one before it, it was strong and hard, commanding awe but colder than I had ever experienced. It drew me in feeding on my anger and I became cold and unfeeling like the light. However somewhere in the shadows this light did not reach in me, there came whispers of uncertainty and I found myself retreating towards a warmer light. Soft but bright and incredibly warming. I feared it at first, not sure of its intentions but soon I trusted the light and became part of it...and now that light I thought would never dim has and I find myself in near darkness, terrified of the demons that lurk there and knowing I must face them and the cold light once more.

I know it is time to put out those lights...and then I wake.

I have fallen asleep on my desk again, the only place it seems I have been unable to fight it and the dreams it brings to haunt me. Shaking my head free of the remnants of sleep, I stretch. There is still a deep sense of foreboding that cloaks my thoughts, I has been there since my last meeting with Albus and uncomfortable knots sink in my stomach and a sense of urgency I have learnt to trust niggles my nerves.

The time is approaching and I must do as Albus has asked no matter how impossible I may find the task he has given me or rather _I_ have saddled myself with. I cannot claim that it is or ever will be his fault.

I rub my eyes for a brief moment to clear the lazy film of sleep and taking my trusted quill and a fresh roll of parchment I write...

_Dear Minerva (at least I hope it is you reading this as you know as well as I, how useless that bloody owl is)_

The owl in question sits upon its wooden perch in the corner of my office. Albus bought him me for my thirtieth birthday insisting I needed a familiar to comfort me and how on God's green earth he thought this bird could be in anyway suitable I will never know.

'Plop' as Albus so wonderfully named him is a fat barn owl that looks like an overstuffed feathered Quaffle which in flight has all the grace of Longbottom on a broom. He is scared of the dark and anything that squeaks, has no sense of direction, a memory shorter than a goldfish's and looks like he is eternally surprised to be here. How he has survived in my presence for the last eight years is beyond my comprehension, I expect it may be something to do with my trust in Albus...

_I have no idea in truth how to begin this letter to you. I am sure if all has happened as expected I am the last person you wish to hear from. _

I glare at the words unsure of how to proceed. How do you tell a friend you are about to betray that you can really be trusted?

_However as difficult as this may be, you must set your hate for me aside. I don't ask this for personal gain or out of any other motive other than to complete Albus' final wishes._

I sigh aloud not wishing to continue but knowing it is essential that I do. Dipping the nib of my quill in the ink I continue to tattoo the parchment with my confession, all that has happened and all that is to come.

_I am sure you well remember our conversation in his office and my promise to you that I would not go through with his' request' however you should know well enough Minerva that its damned near impossible to defy him. He demands every moment of my spare time to remind me of my duties to him, he calls me 'son' and reminds me of his condition. _

The quill in my hand snaps as I clasp it tightly and I throw it across the room in frustration.

"Damn it!"

At my outburst Plop soils his tray and goes back to looking surprised and it takes a moment before I can reign in my temper again. Summoning my quill I repair the damage and continue.

_I therefore must concede to his 'request' (although we all know there is no such thing as a request with Albus) and break my own vow never to cast that curse again. _

_I know it is too much to ask for your forgiveness and I doubt it could ever save my already tainted soul, but for the sake of his sacrifice we must continue our fight. _

_Do not defend me when the time comes. It will not be hard considering the circumstances. Guard what you know as you have done so well before and look after our precious Potter. _

_He will undoubtedly lead himself and his friends into unnecessary danger. I will do all that is within my power to protect them, that is should I survive the Dark Lord. Despite Albus' reassurance that he is sure I will be rewarded for my eliminating his most feared enemy, he knows as well as I that this could also work against me. Whilst he will be pleased to have one of his main obstacles out of the way he will I expect become paranoid. I will have killed a man of great power that he would not face himself. I imagine I shall become quite used to being 'put in my place' over the following months. I am sure to look forward to the day Potter puts me out of my misery. _

_All that being said I should let you know of my intentions for what is to come. As we discussed with Albus I will continue the search for the Horcruxes and I will leave Plop with you should you need to communicate with me as somehow he seems to know how to find me regardless of my location. _

_When the time is right I will attempt to lead the Dark Lord to Potter_

Rubbing my temples I add my final words to the letter.

_I have changed my will in view of what is to come and name you as the executor of my estate. I would prefer that my home is sold and the money used for the school and my belongings done with as you see fit. There are a few rare items that could raise a few gallons should you wish to sell them. My will also specifies a few others I wish to inherit certain items but as you will have probably guessed they are few._

_Finally I would like to thank you Minerva. Should these be my last words to you it is my wish that you know you have been a good friend to me. _

_Yours faithfully_

_Severus Snape_

I flick my wand over the parchment and the words swirl around in an unreadable pattern then rolling the parchment I seal it with green wax and the Order's stamp.

As I seal the parchment I hear a commotion on the stairs near my office and I close my eyes willing Albus' prediction to be wrong. Hearing the unmistakable laugh of Greyback I know it is not to be so and Draco has succeeded in his task so far... I shall never be ready for is approaching.

I must yet again place my faith in Plop and Albus for gifting me with the bloody bird. We stare at each other for a moment although I'm not entirely sure he registers that he is doing it.

"Plop" I sneer, something that I find impossible not to considering what I am speaking to.

"I have a _very_ important letter for you to deliver." I inch my head closer to him, eyes never leaving his.

"If you fail in this I will cook you alive and feed you to the Dark Lord's pet snake and take great joy in doing so. You will deliver this message-" I wave the parchment in front of his beak "-to _Minerva McGonagall_ in _one_ hour. You will _not_ deliver this to _anyone_ else. You will _not_ deliver it any _later. _You _will _remain with _Minerva McGonagall_ and do as _she _wishes. Is this understood?"

Plop blinks in reply which could mean he does understand or that he has just remembered he hasn't blinked in the last 3 hours. Shaking my head I almost scream in frustration but stop as the bird extends its leg.

"Albus better be right about you" I mutter as I tie the parchment to the offered limb and the bird hoots softly. We stare at each other for a moment more before I fling him out the window with the vague hope he might have actually understood me and that he masters the art of flight before he hits the Whomping Willow.

I don't leave my office immediately; I have no desire rush into what I must do, I can find no motivation for it. How am I supposed to stand in front of a man I have called my friend, a man that I would die for and –

"Severus! Death Eaters! In the Castle!" Filius shouts as he catapults himself through my office door.

_Stupefy _I wordlessly stun him without a second thought, saddened by the look of surprise on this face as he hits the floor.

"Sorry Filius" I mutter as I pass him and out into the corridor

"Professor!" Miss Granger gasps as she runs into me and I can see fear in her eyes...

_Not you..._

"Professor Flitwick has feinted in my office. Please go and take care of him"

"The Death Eaters are-" She begins insistent as always that I hear her out

"I know Miss Granger. Go and see to Professor Flitwick." For once I find I don't have the heart to shout her. All things considered it seems so petty and small...

I stride forwards and up towards the battle meeting the flash of curses bounding off the walls before I see the casters and as I turn the corner I walk through the fray and past them toward where I will find Albus, not caring if a curse should strike me down and half hoping one will.

When I reach the tower I can see truly for the first time how week he has become. The dream from earlier flashes in my mind and the light so dim I feel cold again. _No Albus please..._

It occurs to me this could easily be another of my nightmares, I have seen the scene before a hundred times since Albus revealed his plans. Draco stands with his wand pointing somewhat feebly towards the headmaster whilst death eaters and that disgusting thing that calls himself a werewolf stand behind him egar to step forward and complete the job for the boy.

Greyback lunges towards Albus "No!" I growl as a curse from my wand sends him hurtling toward one of the stone walls. I catch Albus' eyes as I turn to Draco

"Draco you must finish this now" I state sounding calmer than I feel

"Severus _please_" Albus pleads with me.

I know Potter is here somewhere, under that invisibility cloak of his fathers

"_Severus_"

His father had always been an idiot, just like his son and that prat Black

"Our Lord wants him dead Draco and if you won't do it..." One of them to my left this time, I don't catch the rest of his speech, my eyes focused on Albus.

"_Severus please_"

"Avada-" I find an overwhelming possessiveness rise up in me. How dare he?! Cursing the death eater from my path I turn to Albus and look him in the eye.

Now I know why this is my duty. A man as strong and powerful and good as this should not succumb to the curse of any old wand. It should be mine because as his friend I earned this right, I would die for him and kill for him and no other man or 'dark lord' should be able to say they brought down Albus Dumbledore.

"Avada Kedavra" I send all my feeling into it. I want to do this but not out of hate. I do this out of love and now in sending my soul with him as his body flies over the battlements I am alone and with one task as my only reason for continuing.

"Come Draco" I grab the boy and drag him down the stairs of the tower.

Potter will now be following me, I can hear is thoughts without even looking at him.

The boy beside me whimpers as I drag him through the hall hurling a hex or two over my shoulder as I all but dive down the stairs to the entrance.

"The task is complete, return to our lord" I cry to those battling the staff.

Just a little further now, Potter is closer, faster on his feet than I ever gave him credit for but his father and black gave me practice in the art of running...

I stop when I hear a strangled cry from him as a "Crucio" echoes across the grounds

Idiots! "Leave him, he is for the Dark Lord" I call to the offender, flicking my wand in their direction to break the curse.

How is it they can never resist the temptation? If I am to be cursed tonight for my deeds I shall not be the only one if I have anything to do with it and I shall...

I continue my run to the gates pushing Draco ahead of me, seeing a white blur in the corner of my eye I turn to see Plop circling the castle and then I meet the burning eyes of Potter.

"Traitor" He spits with venom I never thought him capable of and I take great please in giving a low bow.

"At your service Potter" I smirk and with a twist I grab the still silent Draco and apparate to the location of he-who-must-not-be-named.

_Oh gods Albus, why? ..._once again I find myself on my knees in the dark.

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**A/N:** sigh as I said not my best piece but reviews are appreciated. NO FLAMES!

This piece is written for the author of the month contest on: thaelixir. I haven't got a beta so if you feel up to the job them please review and let me know...POVs aren't my strong suit.

Btw Plop's name is borrowed from the book 'The owl who was afraid of the Dark' by Jill Tomlinson and based very loosely around him... I decided to make this one a little more hopeless.

Oh and if you like the idea of being an 'author of the month' you are welcome to join the site and participate in the next one. There is more on there than just these kinds of contests too! (link is also in my profile)

**THE CHALLENGE:**

**Rewrite the end of Book 6 using ONE of the following characters view point:**

Draco  
Severus  
Dumbledore

**What do I mean by the end of Book 6?:**

When Dumbledore and Harry arrive back at the office and Draco bursts in and minutes later and Death Eaters and Snape after that.

**Figure out how you would like to change the story, maybe you can answer some of the following questions:**

Does Dumbledore still die?  
Does Draco take Dumbledore's offer to disappear?  
Did Snape and Dumbledore plan the kill?  
Did Snape really kill Dumbledore or was it an illusion?  
If given the time would Draco kill Dumbledore?  
Why was Draco helping the Death Eaters get into Hogwarts?  
Is Draco a Death Eater? Does he have the mark?  
Was Snape Dumbledore's man or Voldemorts?

**Requirements: **

-Must be at least 2,500 words long:  
(If you wish for it to be longer, no more than 10,000 words. ONE-SHOT format only. No Chapter Fics.)

-Can only use the view point of the main character. The main characters to choose from are DRACO MALFOY, SEVERUS SNAPE, AND ALBUS DUMBLEDORE. But only ONE.  
(If any other viewpoint is used the entry will not be valid. You may talk about any other character but it has to be from the main characters viewpoint)


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